Chamakh ISN’T That Good.
By: Jennifer | September 3rd, 2009
I recently spotted an article titled Arsenal Target Marouane Chamakh Isn’t Very Good, and guess what, besides their video proof, I have proof too. I agree wholeheartedly with him. Chamakh is a terrible player. Everything from his ridiculously ludicrous headers to his impossibly insane moments in the air. The man is a beast (and I mean that in the bad way.)
This is why I say so:
1. His hair defies gravity, and he probably uses enough hair gel to fund a small economy.
2. He defies gravity. <— most ridiculous photo I’ve seen of him yet.
3. He gets chummy with Gourcuff.
4. He gets kisses from Triaud.
6. He ain’t no arshavin or brazillian.
7. He’s really old. I mean, 25? Come on, he is only functional for like 5 more years.
8. I think he has a nightclub in Morocco? (<– cannot be confirmed)
9. He photographs too well.
10. He’s skinny.
There you go Wenger. 10 reasons why you shouldn’t sign Chamakh on even a free transfer. Do you really want him ruining the lucrative hair gel market, skyrocketing the prices for the average Londoner? ‘Course not. In fact, no club deserves the completely undesirable Chamakh. If Gourcuff didn’t have a slight crush on him, we wouldn’t even want to keep him for ourselves (but obviously, to please Gourcuff we must, and we must pay him a lot of money.)
(If it’s not obvious I was totally stuck on the 7th reason and beyond.)
Can someone else give 10 reasons why Arsenal shouldn’t sign Chamakh?
In other news, I am completely grateful for the international break. I’m going MIA for the next week as I’m packing like crazy and moving. Also, frosh activities and the beginning of school is going to eat a chunk of my time. Similarly, since school is starting and I don’t think I want to fail post-secondary education, I’m going to take it easy on this blog.
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i disagree with the picture your article is trying to paint, that all these things somehow make him a bad player and really just good enough for League 1. however i do agree with the underlying sentiments, he is clearly rough around the edges, all fun and games aside, and very unorthodox with many of his playing approaches, and possibly at 25, he may not be worth trying to refine as by the time he does come around, he’ll be 28-29 and on the downward swing of his striking career.
one thought i have to share, Zidane is by far one of the most Unorthodox midfielders both in form and in style, yet his genius prevailed. Marone Clearly can play, and has had a few moments of genius himself, don’t discredit what he has achieved. because after all, by you sitting here critiquing him, as a fan of football, he has already accomplished most that you and i as any of us who call ourselves fan would love to be in his shoe, attracting the likes of Arsenal at the moment!Posted from
United States
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Dave trotter im sorry but what are you talking about ? i mean just because man u or arsenal has not signed messi dosent make me think or any other british person think he is a bad player ? Also the hole ” long ball hell” comment ? what college did you graduate from clown college !!! i mean i dislike man u as much as the next man ( arsenal fan ) but i mean if you seriosly think that dont play good football then simply theres something wrong . Im sorry but your caling basically the england team a bad team becasue they play peter crouch sometimes and usa have a fulham player and evertone player in the starting 11 ! granted clint dempsey is okay but he isnt amzaing. by any stretch of the imagination. more distincly average. England have world class players. gerrard, lampard, terry. There are on a completly different level to usa in terms of quality. and yes woopdey do you beat spain well done indeed would you like a medal ? talking of medals when was the last time usa won ummmmmmmmm…………. anything ?? also you’ve based you english players cant play outside of england on four players. nice one there !
Posted from
United Kingdom -
Whoops, it looks like my brand of humour doesn’t work with the serious Arsenal type. For those of you who say, I disagree with this article, well yeah. I’m trying to poke fun at this situation which is being taken way too seriously by a lot of people. You guys are like the Wenger who calls into Special1TV and tells Jose’ he’s politically incorrect.
Besides, you can diss Chamakh all you want and sign all the promising French talent that you want. The French league will always have more, whether it’s the likes of Benzema, Nasri, ben Arfa, or Tafer. People need to realize that the only reason that you’re hearing of these names is because clubs like Bordeaux and managers like Blanc see their talent and gives them the opportunity to hone their skills playing games like Champions league games. While richer clubs can go and buy themselves teams, I prefer our way of building teams that work.
Also, let me make it clear that I respect Chamakh very much and can quote myself saying many times that he deserves to go. (No, I’m not actually going to quote myself.)
If there’s anything I’ve learnt from this, it’s like most EPL fans lack a sense of humour even though many British people do
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(Also Dave, I agree you when you said that EPL games are mostly boring. I watched a Arsenal – United game and that was the first and last time I ever watched an EPL game. While I agree that yes foreign talent and managers try to spice things up, EPL would not be so successful minus the funding and the common language. I think the only reason I started watching L1 a lot more is because I can understand French a whole lot more than I can understand Italian.
I think also that the French mentality that’s developed is that yes we can make loads of money buying cheap and selling high, which is why we needlessly do so. Lyon never did quite spend so much money as the past transfer season, since they had no need to do so with that long unending dominance.
The biggest problem we have is keeping them. Bordeaux offered Chamakh a very significant pay rise, comparable to or even more than his wages would be at Arsenal, but still he wants to pursue the English dream despite Arsenal having not won a major trophy in a few years. I think the key points here are exposure, and also a “higher quality game”, as most people assume EPL teams to be. Yes, I agree he should go to Arsenal, but I’m not sure if that will raise the level of his playing. I can only say that staying in Bordeaux will definitely not give him a better game seeing as he’s been with us for so many years.)
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Shawn, I think perhaps my irony/sarcasm/humour isn’t very apparent and I apologize for that. As to your comment about orthodoxy, I completely disagree. Orthodox players are easily predictable, making them a terrible choice on the pitch. Chamakh is a very talented player and his “unorthodoxy” is what makes me sit through the game and just marvel at his play. People don’t enjoy brazilian football because it’s orthodox and utilitarian. People enjoy the flavour of the game, the little pieces of art they make with each pass and each goal. Sadly it is all about winning. The game was meant to be entertainment and now it is being taken too seriously.
Chamakh has a great sense of intelligence in that he can predict play and by intuition know to be at the right place at the right time (if you read John Foot’s book, that’s one of the criterion he lists for good players). But he doesn’t have the finish. Often in games I see him have brilliant shots just wide, or headers just off the crossbar. If there’s anything I’m always surprised when he scores because he can score at anytime, you just don’t know when.
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Their link to my post which link their post. But the hilarious part is…SOMEONE JUSTIFYING HIS SMALL HEAD!!!!!
About his small head you guys are forgetting patrick viera, he had a small head and he is one of the best arsenal players ever.
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sorry was my mistake. to be honest ive never seen chamahk play. But if arsene wenger wants him i cfould be pretty sure he’d be a good player. However arsenal dont need a player of his type of posistion. Arsenal already many many unorthodox type of players and enought forwards.
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When was the last time the USA won anything? Never, you are right. But in all honesty, soccer is your TOP sport, and it isn’t for us.
Imagine if the US was a “soccer first” country. The Michael Jordans, Tiger Woods, Walter Paytons became soccer players instead of football and basketball, or whatever players. We would dominate. But I know it has to kill people in the UK that we actually have a decent team, while soccer is about our 10th or so most popular sport.
Also, John, name is one player besides Beckham in the last 10 years that has been successful outside the UK? They aren’t successful.
Look at the Becks experiment. He couldn’t keep up with the fast pace of the Latin American game and, also, I think the heat of LA hurt him more than people think. Still, Beckham was flat here.
Yet a quality French player, who knows the fast pace game, like Youri Djorkaeff, was quiet successful with the Metrostars.
Also, look at Arsenal’s English players….Theo Walcott and, uh….Theo Walcott. That is about it.
There is a reason that Brazilian, Argentinian and Italian players rarely go to England, and I think it is easy to say that their gameplay is quiet slow. Most Brazilians seem that they would rather play for Sao Paulo than Chelsea.
And if EPL teams continue to spend, they will fall in more trouble. I saw it happen with my beloved Leeds United, and I think it could happen to other teams.
I think we will see the beginning of the end of the EPL as the dominate force because all the non-English players are leaving. Once it becomes an ‘all-English’ league, their play will decline and they will falter.
Again, long ball is boring!
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Dave Trotter…
Though some of the things you are saying are right.. Not all are right…
Walcott is not the only English player in Arsenal, Their’s Kieran Gibbs, and the young and exciting Jack wilshere…
Since the Manager of Arsenal is a Frech guy he is more comfortable with a French core to the Arsenal team.
Isnt that how it works?
Rafa is spanish and so there are(or at least were) a lot of Spanish players in Liverpool..Similarly when Mourinho came to Chelsea, his first piece of business was to get Carvalho and Paulo Feireira to Chelsea…
Its natural for a foreign manager to be more comfortable with people of his own nation in the team..
I am surprised you are even comparing the MLS with EPL…
Beckham was a failure at L.A. Galaxy, but he was not one at Man Utd.(England) or Rela Madrid(Spain) or even more recently at A.C.Milan (Italy)… So maybe nothing is wrong with the player… Whats wrong is with your league i.e. MLS…Ever thought of that?
And you talk of English players being unsuccessful outside of England… Not many players go out of England the EPL is challenging enough for the good ENglish players to have to go out and try their hand..
And shut the nonsense about players in brazil willing to play in Sao Paolo rather than come to Chelsea…
Show me 1 player who would refuse a move from Sao Paolo to Chelsea…
Every news articles i have seen, Brazil based players are willing to move to the EPL at the drop of the hat..unless ofcourse its a case of sour grapes…
And please do not get me started on USA.. The biggest talents that have come out of your country off late have struggled to play in Europe..
1) Freddy Adu? Benfica to Monaco back to Benfica and now trying his hand at Portugese minnows Belenenses…
2) Jozy Altidore? Villareal to Xerex and back to Villareal and now to Premier league strugglers Hull city…
Just do your research before you start bashing Arsenal and the EPL and the English football in general..Posted from
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Er, money, duh? Offer a decent paycheck to most South American players and they will go. Cavenaghi moved from River Plate to Spartak Moscow despite the challenge in terms of weather and language just for the moneyl
US/Canadian players do well in EPL because of the lack of the language barrier and a similar type of play vs rest of Europe. i.e. Hargreaves. Also Chamakh is not and will never be French. French is spoken in Morocco but it took many years to integrate him to the club.
Since when did this become a matter of US/UK supremacy? If you think about it hard enough maybe the reason why the US isn’t too successful in terms of football is the lack of good youth programs in place. Football didn’t start to take hold in the country until a few decades ago, let alone the long time it’s been in place in England/Europe. If you think the amount of talent waiting to be harvested in the US once things start going, people like Freddy Adu or Maurice Edu are peanuts.
I’m starting to miss the point of this discussion. It must be the impending WC qualifiers.
Posted from
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Jennifer, this all started because of your article. While you made this article light-hearted, which I liked, the person who wrote the original article was pretty serious about Chamakh not being that good.
And, of course, since these are Arsenal fans, they are mostly pro-English and think England is the end-all of all things soccer. I’m just trying to prove that they aren’t.
Since I have been alive (36 years now) England hasn’t been to any major FIFA competition final. So, with England, i’m at the “put up or shut up” phase. I am tired of hearing, every friggen four years, that England is going to win the World Cup. Now I am starting to hear it again. Honestly, the line is getting really old now.
Gopal…Show you one player that would rather play in Brazil instead of the EPL? Ronaldo. They were talking about him going to Manchester City last year after Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan bought the team. Instead, he went to Corinthians. And he is a pretty big name. So there you go.
Second, MLS isn’t ‘my league’. I went to one Real SL and two Chicago Fire games. I can’t even tell you anything about MLS. I’m just saying that Beckham was a failure here. And nobody has given me a reason why he has been a failure.
As far as Adu, I talked before on the Monaco blog here how they hurt his career yet I think the MLS actually hurt Adu more than anything. The MLS is good for some players, like Landon Donovan, and not good for others, like Freddie Adu.
As far a Jozy, he is looking good at Hull right now.
And why don’t you mention Charlie Davies and Carlos Bocanegra, both doing great in France.
No mention of Clint Dempsey, no mention of Brad Friedel, no mention of, hell, Tim Howard. Johnathan Specter at West Ham, Gooch at AC Milan! DaMarcus Beasley (who is soon to go with the addition of Rothen) and Maurice Edu at Rangers.
And you don’t even mention our past players like Joe-Max Moore at Everton, Kasey Keller with a number of teams, Claudio Reyna, also with a number of teams.
So, you mention one American player that is a flop, Adu, which I agree, but don’t mention the other players overseas who are doing just fine or played well in the past there.
Still, as far as Arsenal, you mention some ‘youngsters’, but how many Brits do they have in their starting eleven? Go ahead…I want to hear the answer.
Still, I am just venting with my frustration on hearing that England is the best, the EPL has the best quality of play when, in my opinion, the EPL is boring and England hasn’t won, or even been close to, anything since 1966.
And these same fans constantly knock Ligue 1 as ‘inferior’, which irks me.
Jennifer, your blog was where I needed to vent
Posted from
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Also, I do think it is the common language which is the reason that Americans think that the EPL and England is the best. If you want to read any soccer publication it will, more than likely, be published in the UK and, therefore, will be extremely pro-UK, which I can understand.
And if you watch ESPN or Fox Soccer Channel, most of their commentators are from the UK who think, of course, that England is the best.
Therefore, most American soccer fans will think that the UK is the best because that is what they hear everyday.
But you mentioned that you know French and that is why you follow Ligue 1. That makes sense. If I couldn’t read French, I probally wouldn’t follow Ligue 1 myself, much less my favorite team Toulouse.
I think language has more to do with the way people shape their soccer views than people think.
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United States -
LOL. john said that he thinks Dave Trotter graduated from clown college. I don’t think john has been to college at all, judging from spelling, content, and grammar. Everyone makes mistakes, but this was too much not to comment on.
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I also don’t get why these annoying people who keep hating on Jennifer and Dave’s ideas keep bringing up the MLS and USMNT. Am I missing something?
Posted from
United States -
I dont no where you’ve heard people specifically saying ” england is the best team in the world ” because to be honest i dont really hear that at all. i dont think england are the best team in the world it sounds like you’ve just chosen to use a blanket view to describe every english person and what you are saying just isnt true. okay im sure if you looked hard you’de find someone who thought england was the best. But im sure you’de find some american ranting about how the mls is the best league in the world.
Also your saying that gopal is naming all the US players that are flops but your allowed to comment ONLY on the flop english players.
and yes arsenal dosent have many regulary starting english players due to the lure of the epl for foreign players. But arsenal have very high standards for players coming thorhgt the academy to meet and only the very best make it and the other still good players filter thoght into other clubs in the epl. e.g. bentley and upson. Also if the epl is so bad with its “long ball” football why do all the foreign players play in it. Are they all wrong ? i think epl is the best league in my opinion. It plays high tempo good football. The only league i would say really could compete at the moment would be the spainish. ( and that isnt me calling the french league bad it clearly is a very good league).
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sorry upson didnt come throght the academy. But i find it funny how everyone including me have gone completly off the hole chamahk subject.
Posted from
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haha, jennifer, Alan Smith from caught offside seemed to like your article, he was quite amused. keep up the good work. sorry, i don’t drop by to often anymore, i’m quite busy.
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any news, btw?
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United States -
It’s certainly a little too late to react to this article, but I very much loved the irony and 2nd degree. Don’t take Marouane from us! He is really toooo bad for you guys. Thank you Jennifer to take all that lightly.
Anyway, so many people wasting their time in answering quite hatefully and going on and on about useless comparisons on British and American soccer is amazing.
Please come back soon Jennifer, we’ll miss you, and we have a game to play against ogre Grenoble.
Oh and by the way, Marouane is French actually, born and raised in Lot et Garonne near Bordeaux. He chose Morocco because his father is Moroccan, and quite certainly because his future in the French team was far from being bright when he had the opportunity to play at international level few years ago.
But I don’t want to start a debate on the choice of representing such or such country…
Posted from
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Gouffran scores!
Posted from
United States -
Live stream, please?
Posted from
United States -
Sorry for my absence, this week has been so crazy I’ve barely have had time to eat. Anyway, I’ll be back commencing next week (as in tomorrow).
Thanks for pointing that out Amaiic. I had a temporary lapse of memory + I was pretty worked up when I typed that. But then again it’s the argument of does the heritage of the parents mean something or does the country you’re born in mean more.
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United States -
http://en.uclfantasy.uefa.com/M/home.mc?NextPage=/M/myteam.mc
Another fantasy football league on the internet.If someone is interested in then join our Lyon Offside league.We need players and it will be fun.Everyone is welcome and the rules are very simple.Believe me,this is great Just pick your teams and join us,maybe some of you are already playing this game.
Here are the codes:
Lyon Offside classic league: 52326-15352
Lyon Offside Head to Head: 52326-16871Come on Jennifer,JOIN US!
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United States -
Hey Jennifer,
I see from your comments that you’re pretty busy. If you have some spare time, could you hop over to the Juventus Offside and post a little bit about Bordeaux in the comments section? Like recent form, who to watch for…I don’t know shit about Ligue 1.
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United States -
Hey Theo, I joined! And bought players that are either famous or french, because I fail at being manager.
Also alessio, I’m on it!
Posted from
United States
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