Chamakh ISN’T That Good.By: Jennifer | September 3rd, 2009
I recently spotted an article titled Arsenal Target Marouane Chamakh Isn’t Very Good, and guess what, besides their video proof, I have proof too. I agree wholeheartedly with him. Chamakh is a terrible player. Everything from his ridiculously ludicrous headers to his impossibly insane moments in the air. The man is a beast (and I mean that in the bad way.)
This is why I say so:
1. His hair defies gravity, and he probably uses enough hair gel to fund a small economy.
2. He defies gravity. <— most ridiculous photo I’ve seen of him yet.
6. He ain’t no arshavin or brazillian.
7. He’s really old. I mean, 25? Come on, he is only functional for like 5 more years.
8. I think he has a nightclub in Morocco? (<– cannot be confirmed)
9. He photographs too well.
10. He’s skinny.
There you go Wenger. 10 reasons why you shouldn’t sign Chamakh on even a free transfer. Do you really want him ruining the lucrative hair gel market, skyrocketing the prices for the average Londoner? ‘Course not. In fact, no club deserves the completely undesirable Chamakh. If Gourcuff didn’t have a slight crush on him, we wouldn’t even want to keep him for ourselves (but obviously, to please Gourcuff we must, and we must pay him a lot of money.)
(If it’s not obvious I was totally stuck on the 7th reason and beyond.)
Can someone else give 10 reasons why Arsenal shouldn’t sign Chamakh?
In other news, I am completely grateful for the international break. I’m going MIA for the next week as I’m packing like crazy and moving. Also, frosh activities and the beginning of school is going to eat a chunk of my time. Similarly, since school is starting and I don’t think I want to fail post-secondary education, I’m going to take it easy on this blog.
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